National First Responders Day

There is a movement to make today National First Responders Day (also a bill was introduced for it to be September 25th), but I'm going with today's date.

So have you hugged and/or thanked a first responder today? These men and women certainly deserve our thanks and gratitude. Their job is to be there when we need them the most. They come when there is a house fire, they are at car accidents, a brutal assault, they rush your grandmother to the hospital with chest pains. They do their best to protect us, to save our lives, to pick up the pieces. And they do this at the expense of a "normal" life. Because they are out there for us, they miss out on things like holidays, sleep, good pay, not knowing what a dead person looks like/smells like...The second most common response to my husband is an EMT, after I bet he has interesting stories, is, I could never do that.

And that is exactly it, most of us could not do it, we couldn't go out there and be a firefighter, a police officer or a medic. We would puke at the first bad smell or run from the first gunshot (or bullet wound).

Whether First Responders Day is the 25th or the 27th, we need a day to thank these men and women for what they do and for what they give up to do it. We need to thank them for having the courage, the chutzpah, the cojones to do these jobs.

Below is a post I wrote a while back. But I wanted to post it today as it highlights a characteristic of the man I married and is part, albeit, only part of, why he is who he is and why he does what he does:

Sometimes really sad things happen and my husband's job is to be there when they do. Surprisingly, he's rarely rattled by what he sees and who he talks to. But sometimes, something happens that rattles his (incredible) composure. He went to a call where this girl was trying to leave her abusive boyfriend with their baby in a stroller. She was walking to the street corner to meet her mother and brother who were coming to pick her up. The abusive boyfriend pushed her off the sidewalk and into oncoming traffic. It was her mother and brother that hit her, and she did not survive.

I think this rattled him because he didn't understand this man's actions at all as my husband is the complete opposite of that. I know without a doubt, he would step in front of that car for me. He is simultaneously my security blanket and my biggest cheerleader. I know that when my life gets too heavy or dangerous, he will be there to step in front of me and protect me from whatever. Today, I am grateful for my husband who loves me, protects me and supports me. I also wish that for everyone else, that they find that in their lives too. In the meantime, they can borrow mine for three 12 hour shifts a week (and any time he sees someone broken down on the side of the road, or anytime someone gets sick in a store, okay, so it's more like whenever he sees that someone needs help...).

And so to my husband, who is probably embarrassed by this post right now, who shrugs and says its not a big deal when I tell him I'm proud of him for what he does, modest soul that he is. I say it is a big deal, and I'm proud of you.

Thank you for what you do, thank you to all first responders for what you do, stay safe!

My Little Brother, the Bad A$$ Police Officer

So there is a movement to make September 27th National First Responders Day. I fully support that, so today and tomorrow, I'm posting about the First Responders nearest and dearest to me. My little brother, the police officer and, tomorrow, my husband, the EMT. As an aside, I have to include my big brother as well, who is in the Merchant Marines and is a trained firefighter for ships and oil rigs. So take the intensity and scariness of a fire and put it on a ship or oil rig...I am lucky enough to be surrounded by brave and tough men that would have my back in a heartbeat (and I'm pretty tough in my own right) :)

                                                My brave brothers and I  (big brother on the left, "little" brother on the right)
                                                                                  
Police officers get a bit of a bad rap with those who are fortunate enough not to need them. They only come into our lives when we are driving a little too fast or roll through a stop sign, etc. And then we curse them for being there and noticing our faux paux. But it obviously goes without saying, they do so much more. Medics will often respond to a call with police officers. They work together across the spectrum from wrestling crazy people to helping urban outdoorsmen (bums). J.D. responded to a woman that had thrown a hissy fit in front of one shelter and pissed herself (according to J.D., smelled like she had pissed herself multiple times). She didn't want to go to the hospital but did want the ambulance to take her across town to another shelter. They are not a taxi service (this is not obvious to everyone) so they can't do that. But the police officer offered to take her across town to the other shelter, after they wrapped her in a sheet so she wasn't sitting on his seats (how gross must she have been that they were protecting the back seat of a police car from her?). Then the next day, J.D. and his partner responded to a call where a woman was complaining of leg pain. A police officer was there as she had flagged him down first. Turned out, she had run out of ibuprofen. So the police officer walked across the street to the store and bought her a bottle of water and some ibuprofen. These are just two examples from last week of police officers going out of their way to help people they really didn't have to. And finally, medics don't carry guns or weapons of any kind, nor do they have any protective gear. So when they respond to a call that has potential for violence, police officers will go in first. Think about that, these men and women go in to places that aren't safe for other people to go into...

My little brother is a police officer in Florida. And I am crazy proud of him. If you google his name, at least five news articles pop up about him making stops and catching bad guys. He's the kind of cop that hates writing speeding tickets and does his darnedest to avoid it. But wants to be in the worst part of town stopping the drug trade, gangs, and other horrible stuff that makes you cringe when considering this is your little brother...Growing up, we were best friends and each others biggest tormentors. Two of our favorite games were juvenile delinquents with our matchbox cars and cops and robbers using an old porch as jail. What's it say about us that we became a police officer and an attorney?

                           Can you guess which one is the cop? If you said the one wearing the cop sunglasses, you'd be right

My brother loves his job, for the most part. He works bad hours, has to deal with red tape, and sees things that no one should ever have to see. His whole life is shaped by the job he does, a job that protects the rest of us. So to my little brother (and his colleagues), thank you from myself, thank you on behalf of the community of Gainesville, Florida, and thank you from all of us that could never do what you do.

I love you little brother! Stay safe!

Respect

There is a lot of support for our military men and women, and deservedly so. Some of the ways we thank them are military discounts, bumper stickers, and a national holiday. All hard earned by those who serve, and in my humble opinion, well deserved and not even enough to express the debt of gratitude that we owe them.

But I will make the argument that the First Responder's are doing something similar to what our military do, only here within our communities. That is, protecting us at the expense of a "normal" life. Like the military, those who are First Responders, work odd hours at the expense of their personal lives, they see things that people should not see, and they put their lives on the line for you and me.

Now, complete disclosure, I am completely biased as my husband is an EMT and my brother is a police officer. But I believe that those who serve as first responders deserve the recognition and respect that is equivalent to how much they invest in protecting us. They at least should have a national holiday! (Or discounts would be nice too, although to be completely fair, a lot of local businesses will give discounts if the First Responder is in uniform.).

Back in March, a colleague of J.D.'s was killed by a drunk driver on the way home from his shift. This drunk driver had been drinking at a strip club for 12 hours straight...

The local news coverage was shameful.  Luckily, being a First Responder isn't just a job, but rather a life style choice. And because of that, they have their own community surrounding them. So even though the city did not recognize this EMT's passing, there was a funeral procession of approximately 30 ambulances through the city in his honor. The firefighters showed up and did a raised ladder salute. The police showed up in force as well.

I sent a letter to the local paper expressing my disgust at their treatment of the story. When they didn't respond, I posted the following on Facebook. But as I feel that respect for our First Responders is incredibly important, I am posting it again here:

In the early morning hours last Sunday, a Grady EMS EMT, Jason Strickland, was hit and killed by a drunk driver while going home from his shift. Accidents involving drunk drivers are always tragic, but this one is even more so as Mr. Strickland’s job was to help after tragedies like this. The local media has barely acknowledged that one of their First Responders has been struck down.

This is the article in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: "A motorcyclist died early Sunday morning after a collision with a passenger vehicle on I-20 Westbound in Douglas County, authorities said. About 5 a.m. Jason Dale Strickland, 37, of Bremen was driving his Harley Davidson west on I-20 near Lee Road. Authorities said a Honda Element driven by Francisco Ferrer, 33, of Dallas, struck Strickland from behind. The impact threw Strickland from the motorcycle into the center travel lane where he was hit by a truck. Strickland was killed in the crash. There were no other injuries. There are no charges pending against the driver of the truck, Joseph Edward Marrett, 66, of Conyers. Ferrer has been charged with driving under the influence and possibly other charges once the police investigation is complete."

This blurb does not even begin to cover Mr.Strickland 's life and the unfairness of this tragic accident. Below is a Letter to the Editor of the AJC that I wrote in response to their less than adequate coverage of Mr. Strickland’s life and death. I received an automatic response that they will let me know within a week if they are interested in running it. But Mr. Strickland’s funeral is today, Thursday 3/29/12, and I believe he deserves recognition and honor no matter whether the AJC decides to run his story. It will be posted here for those who wish to see it:

Dear Editor,

On March 25th, a man was killed by the very people he served and protected. At approximately 5:00 am, Jason Strickland, an EMT with Grady EMS was struck and killed by a drunk driver on the way home from his shift.

Mr. Strickland had spent all night answering 911 calls, probably even cleaning up after and generally helping drunk people. Then as he was driving home after a 12 hour shift serving the city of Atlanta, to his wife and kids, a drunk driver hit him from behind.

The men and women of Grady EMS, and ambulance services across the nation, answer the call to be there for people in the very worst of moments. Whether it’s a gun shot, overdosing on alcohol/drugs, or someone’s grandmother having chest pains, they arrive to pick up the pieces and give people the best opportunity to live as they possibly can.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution newspaper ran an article, or rather a blurb, about this horrible accident. It consisted of seven sentences and never once mentioned that Mr. Strickland was an EMT for Grady EMS or even that he was coming home from work and was not a rabble rouser out partying. Actually, the biggest detail the article discusses is his motorcycle. It would not have taken a lot to discover that Mr. Strickland was an EMT with Grady EMS as he died in his uniform.

If you have to call 911 in the coming weeks, you will see the Grady Medics that respond have black bands around their badges in honor of Mr. Strickland. His death is felt very strongly throughout the First Responders community and Mr. Strickland deserves the same recognition and honor from the city he served.

We often hear the stories about the tragedies caused by drunk drivers, but the shame of it is that when they are leaving from the party, they are sharing the road with this country’s First Responders that are often going into and coming home from work at the same time. They are working shifts ready to cover the fall out from this partying.

The horrible irony of this accident is that had this drunk driver hit anything other than Mr. Strickland, he would have been the first to stop and do everything he could to save lives.

Being a part of Grady EMS, or any emergency service nationwide, takes courage, strength, and sacrifice by both the Medic and their families. When they are on the job, they face the unimaginable. This accident has made us all realize that the families have to not only fear for their Medic’s safety when they are on the job, but also when they are going to and coming from work.

Mr. Strickland was a hero. Not just in extreme circumstances when we all would hope to be one, but as his everyday job. The First Responders community salutes him as a hero that has fallen, I hope this city will join them.

Sincerely,

Wife of a Grady EMS EMT that goes in to work at the same time Mr. Strickland used to drive home.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the family of Mr. Strickland. Thank you over and over again to all those that put their lives on the line to be there when the rest of us need them the most. 

Those who have your back

If the police have arrested someone and they complain of pain or they show altered state of mind, they'll often call an ambulance in. J.D. went to a call the other day where this guy was running down the street naked and was subsequently arrested. He was sitting in the back of the police car naked and was medically evaluated naked...So that doesn't really have anything to do with the point of this post, but for some reason, I'm astonished by that...Seems to me, if you're going to do something stupid, you probably shouldn't do it naked. Although I suppose in his defense, he was high as a kite, so maybe started out fully clothed? Anyways, J.D. was called out by the cops for a 15 year old hood rat that had run from them. After they caught him, this kid complained of chest pain. When the medics showed up, the kid was mouthing off to the cops about how slow, fat, lazy, etc they are. J.D. laughed and said, "they caught you didn't they!". The cop looked over at J.D. and said "thanks, we aren't allowed to say stuff like that". My point is, you never know where someone that has your back will come from.

One day, J.D. picked up a guy on a Sunday morning. He was hung over with no ID, no wallet, no cellphone. The last thing the patient could remember was being in a strip club with some friends, in Alabama (J.D. works in Atlanta, Georgia)...Turns out that he had been black out drunk and his friends put him on a bus headed out of the state...And you had better hope the people that have your back are the right ones.

I used to sneer at politicians and the obviousness of their power corruption. Then I got in to the work place and realized a lot of people do stupid power plays for seemingly little to non existent power. And it really gets me fired up when those power plays (which I am not involved in!) affect my life. My husband is in a school program to become a paramedic (woohoo for getting to give drugs to patients!) and there is a power struggle going on that may postpone his graduation by three whole months. But his director has stepped up to try to find another way so that his class doesn't get screwed over.

Or my bridesmaids who frantically redid our bouquets, using flowers from the reception centerpieces, minutes before our wedding because of a mishap that killed the flowers in the old ones. They never once complained, they scrambled to get it done, and still came out on the other end composed and beautiful. Then proceeded to put up with pins poking them, wet bouquet handles, and keeping the "ugly" side pressed against their dresses so no one else at the wedding would realize they had been done last minute.

                                                                (Can't tell can you?)

Gratitude: I'm grateful for those around us that are not only on our side, but also have our back.

Quote: "Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends"

Reasons

Not surprisingly, a large percentage of the people that J.D. picks up are schizophrenic/bipolar. For some reason these cases make me sadder than just about anything else, except for domestic abuse. It's because these patients are often fighting so hard with themselves and on a certain level, I can relate to that. J.D. took a young man with schizophrenia to the hospital that had been off of his meds for some time, so was pretty revved up. The entire ride to the hospital, he would alternate between being pretty with it and freaking out. During these episodes he kept trying to leave the back of the ambulance (which was en route already). But this guy had mentioned early on to J.D. that he was going to the hospital because his uncle had asked him to. So he would freak out and J.D. would remind him he was doing this for his uncle which would calm him down. It's so important to have someone and/or something in your life that keeps you on the right path.

I excessively dislike my job sometimes (we're talking gray cubicle walls). Although I would label myself as a glass half full sort of person generally, every once in a while I sink into a glass is half empty with food bits crusted to the inside at a restaurant type. Most recently, I sort of got stuck on the idea of packing it in and moving back with our parents in Florida. But J.D. reminded me that I have four very good reasons to keep doing the things I don't want to:

Gratitude: I'm grateful for my reasons to do what I have to do, no getting around it. They make my glass half full again.

Quote: "For myself, I am an optimist-It does not seem to be much use being anything else"-Sir Winston Churchill

Life Choices

In J.D.'s line of work, he sees bad and sad life choices over and over again. Like the 28 year old girl with Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, full blown AIDS, Chlamydia, but ironically, she called for an ambulance because her lip Herpes sore was bothering her. Or the guy that had been shot ten times throughout his lifetime. Or the 14 year old having a baby that didn't know what it meant when asked if her water had broken. One day J.D. picked up a girl that was 21 years old complaining of stomach pain. She'd had an IUD in for two years but already had four babies. That's four babies by the age of 19...

Sometimes I look at my life and wonder how I got here. I look back and think, wow, that was a dumb decision, or wow, I messed that up but good. However, at the end of the day, I have a law degree, work for a fortune 50 company, have a horse and I'm married to my love.

Gratitude: Today, I'm grateful that my poor decisions have led me to where I am. May they continue.

Quote: "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference"-Robert Frost

Ancestors

Atlanta has a large Russian and Eastern European population. J.D. has had his share of scoldings from the babooshkas. One day he picked up a Russian gentleman that was 101 years old. This patient was about 6 years old when Czar Nicholas II was killed and the Russian empire fell.  At some point after that, this patient migrated to the United States and fought for us in World War II. Just think about the history this gentleman has seen and been part of. Our country is great exactly because of people like this that brought their history and experiences here, and these combined experiences have made us stronger.

My Grandmother-in-law is an amazing woman. She traveled all over the world with my Grandfather-in-Law. She spent most of the 50's through the 70's in developing countries. In Saudi Arabia, her ankles were caned for showing on a street corner by the Sharia police. Every Tuesday in Malaysia, her Muslim driver would drop her off at the entrance to the hog market as he would not go in. They only allowed ham to be sold once a week in this predominately Muslim country. She would walk through the market, select a hog and they would slaughter it for her. My Grandpa was often gone for long periods of time leaving my Grandmother to run the household on her own in countries that she barely spoke the language. But she did have a phone number to call in case her husband never returned.

Gratitude: I'm grateful for the strong men and women that have come before us and laid the foundation for our lives.

Quote: "People will not look forward to posterity, who never look backward to their ancestors"

Helping Hand

There are actually regulars that go to the hospital. These people go to the hospital for every little thing, even sometimes every little nonexistent thing. It gets to the point where J.D. recognizes them and even vice versa sometimes. The medics call these people frequent flyers. However, asking for help isn't always the easiest thing.

J.D. went to a man with gout that had fallen on the porch of an abandon house and couldn't get up. He lay there for two weeks (someone occasionally brought him food) before help was called in. When they got there and were evaulating him, J.D. noticed that his belt was around his neck. At some point during the two weeks of laying there, this man had contemplated killing himself. Why didn't he ask for help sooner? But sometimes people do realize you need help and show up in the nick of time.

One day I was feeling down. I live a blessed life in comparison to 80% of my husband's patients. But sometimes within my life, it's difficult for me. I was moping around the house, so J.D. loaded the dogs and I up in the truck. We headed out to a local civil war battlefield that's a mountain park. We've found a field tucked into the back that is everything a meadow ought to be and no one else is ever there. We pulled out the (clean) horse blanket to lay on and hiked through the waist high grass to the rise. I just laid there and looked up at the sky, and was happy again:

Gratitude: I'm grateful for someone in my life that notices when I need a helping hand.

Quote: "Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you."-Mother Teresa

Benefits of being married to a First Responder

It is very hard to be the significant other of a first responder, be it medic, firefighter, or police officer. The down sides are huge. My husbands works 3:30 AM (!) to 4:30 pm Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Yes, he gets up and leaves before dawn and works weekends, a double shift whammy (I work M-F 9:00am-5:00pm). If a holiday falls during his shift, forget getting it off. Accidents and sickness don't take holidays off, actually the 911 calls tend to go up. The pay is horrible, although the healthcare is great. They often go into situations on par with those that documentary filmmakers go into in third world countries. They bring germs home, I was sick the first six months that J.D. worked until my immune system adjusted. He strips down as soon as he walks in the door and has a special work clothes basket and shoe location so they don't contaminate me or the rest of the house. There is a constant danger of him contracting something vile from his patients. They are required to have yearly TB tests...

But there are a few benefits. My horse friends appreciate J.D. being around for the occasional fall or mishap. We have a never ending supply of latex gloves for gross situations like when the rascally dogs get into the trash:

But I suppose the main benefit is quite simply, he loves what he does. His face lights up when he talks about his day. Sometimes he goes "oh! I forgot to tell you about this one!" and proceeds to give me some crazy story, while excitedly waiving his hands around. And at the end of the day, don't most of us wish for a job that we're passionate about?

Softies

J.D. sometimes gets into fist fights at work. Or rather his patients try to pick a fight with him. He of course stays calm, cool, and collected (that's generally the mode he operates in anyways, even with me...). His patients will swing at him, try to bite or kick, and this often happens in the confines of the ambulance! A medic's only recourse is to try to grab the flailing limbs and strap them down to a stretcher. Or prick them with a sedative. Once they get the unruly patient tied to the stretcher, they'll often still spit at the medics (I bet you're asking where do I sign up for this aren't you?).

One day there was a patient that was in a diabetic coma, which can cause people to act violently, so was hardcore fighting my husband and the other medic. Between the flailing fists and thrashing legs they managed to get some sugar into this guy which brought him back around. When they explained that he'd tried fighting them, the patient looked askance at my 6'4", 300 lb, Offensive lineman in high school, all star rugby player husband and said, "why would I do a fool thing like that?".

I'm a terrible cook. I once burned water, true story, it evaporates and then the pan starts to burn. Luckily, J.D. is an excellent cook. He comes home after a twelve hour shift fighting hooligans and cooks dinner for me.

Gratitude: I'm grateful that as big and bad as my husband is, he's a softie when it comes to those he loves

Quote: "being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage"-Lao Tzu

Independence

    My husband, J.D., was called out to a girl (20 something) who had fallen into a hole in a popular section 8 apartment complex. When he and his partner arrived, they discovered that the patient had stepped down into a hole with one leg, but only up to her knee. J.D. reached into the hole and was able to move his arm around her leg and evaulate that nothing was broken/sprained/injured. But this girl was incapable of pulling the bottom part of one leg out of the hole and she was too overweight for J.D. and his partner to pull out by themselves. It took my husband and four firefighters to remove this girl's lower leg from the hole. When I asked "why didn't she just lean over and draw her leg out?", my husband shrugged helplessly. Think about that, there are people out there incapable of pulling their own leg out of a hole...

   Somehow, I ended up in law school. The hows and why fors still baffle me. It was miserable and every stereotype you've ever heard about the institution. Basically, law school was a financial, emotional, and mental hole. But I was bound and determined to make it through so that one day I could buy a horse.

This is my view most afternoons:

Gratitude: I'm grateful that I was born a motivated, independent person.

Quote: "It has long since come to my attention that people of accomplishments rarely sit back and let things happen to them. They go out and happen to things"-Leonardo da Vinci